The  Emotional Bank Account by Meagen

            I was searching for the right habit to use in my paper, when I came across this great  concept.  The Paradigms of Interdependence and the emotional bank account.  I love this   idea and it might even convince me into buying the book.  At first when I heard about the   Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I thought to myself Stephen Covey crazy.  Then I   warmed up to his ideas and concepts.  The emotional bank account is a great idea and is  wonderful for accounting your relationships.

            Dictionary.com defines independence as freedom from control or influence of another or others.  I believe that is am pretty independent, most of the time I use “I” statements.  While I am still growing up and experiencing new things I am trying so hard to transfer into being interdependent.  Interdependence involves being capable of building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with other people.  Interdependence also involves using more statements such as: We can do it, We will do it and we’ll cooperate.  According to Covey Interdependence is so much more mature.

The emotional bank account is a metaphor that describes relationships in terms of an object.  I believe this is an exceptional way to describe a relationship.  Until now I never thought about my actions as deposits and withdrawals.  It really puts everything into perspective for me.  I now have a way to find who my true friends are and those who just make withdrawals.

There are six major deposits I am going to focus on only four. I decided to focus on the deposits because I am planning to deposit more that I withdraw. The first deposit is understanding the individual.  According to Covey this is the most important deposit and is the key to all other deposits.  When you understand someone you can determine what is a deposit or a withdrawal according to that person. 

Next we have the attending to the little things deposit.  Covey notes that the little things are the big things in a relationship.  I believe this to be true, because one big thing can end a relationship.  However over time the little things if not fixed could turn into the big thing and possibly end a relationship.  This is an easy deposit to make, if you are yourself and treat everyone as you want to be treated or better you should have no problems.

Keeping commitments is another major deposit.  Covey notes that “Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit; breaking one is a major withdrawal.”  Hopes are built around promises, so if you make a promise to someone and you break it you have let them down.  For example you promise to work for someone and they had plans to so something spectacular.  At the last minute you decide you can’t work for them because you forgot about something you had to do.  You have really let that person down.  This could be a huge withdrawal or possibly the end of a relationship depending on the quality and quantity of deposits that were previously made.

The last deposit I will focus on is apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal.  When you make a withdrawal in someone’s bank account you must apologize with sincerity.  You should not apologize several times because that will make your apology seem less sincere resulting in a withdrawal.   So apologize once with sincerity, if you don’t get a positive response from that person you may have made one too many withdrawals.      

            Over the past few weeks I have been extensively researching the emotional bank account and paradigms of interdependence.  All during this time I was thinking about the possible deposits and withdrawals that have occurred over the past few weeks.  I reorganized my relationships and took into consideration every action, I decide weather it was a withdrawal or a deposit.  This has clarified all my relationships and I am now able to decide who my friends are and who the withdrawals.  In closing I wanted to thank you for introducing me to Mr. Covey.  Hopefully I will transfer into an effective, interpersonal in no time.