Walkup's Way Home Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Successful People

     The key to success is doing what other people don't want to do. Covey  

 

7 HABITS

Habit 1  - Be Proactive 
Make things happen & take responsibility for your actions

  • Between Stimulus and Response - We have the ability to choose our attitude.  
    Response-able:  Develop the maturity to be able choose your response. 

  • Proactive people THINK before 
    they ACT.

  • Act or Be Acted Upon
    Recognize your responsibility to make things happen

  •  Proactive Focus Vs. Reactive Focus
    Proactive focus:  Act      on the things you can do something about.  
     You are in charge

  •   Reactive Focus:  Letting others act &take the initiative, so we are
      reacting rather than acting.
          You are the victim.

  • It is the key to unlocking all other habits & thus comes first.

Summary
Covey's 7 Habits & Their Opposites

  7 Habits by Covey The Opposite Habits
1 Be Proactive: Take responsibility Be Reactive: Blame everyone. 
Be a  "Poor Me" Victim.
2 Begin with the end in mind: Plan Begin with NO end in mind: 
Avoid goals & live for now
3 First things First/Prioritize Put first things last: Cram for exams the night before
4 Win-Win: Abundance Mentality Think Win/Lose:
 If they win, you always lose
5 Seek first to understand/Listen Seek first to talk:
Then just pretend to listen
6 Synergize/Diversity

 

 Don't cooperate: You have the only good ideas. Hide them. Be selfish.
7 Sharpen the saw: refresh Run in circles: Be so busy that you never have time for study- ing, reading,walking,exercising

 

Habit 2 - Begin with the end in mind
 Begin today with your goals and what matters most. 

  • Become your own creator - by using our imagination and conscience.
    By design our fault - we create or let others create for us

  • Write your personal mission statement, a complete  or concise expression
     of innermost values. Identify your roles  & goals.
    All things are created twice.  First in your head or on paper, and then into reality.   

  • Today's thoughts, plans, actions & mission statement determine where you will
     be tomorrow.

Habit 3 - Put first things first

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy  of things which matter least. Goethe

Write a list of monthly, weekly, and daily goals.
Prioritize daily goals by A, B & C

(A) Must get done ASAP  - a school paper due this week
(B) Of medium urgency   - routine shopping
(C) Can wait - cleaning out a closet

Don't go to sleep until all A goals are accomplished.  Don't get hung up being busy with  
C goals at the expense of A goals.

Develop the Power of Independent Will, that is the ability to make decisions and choices 
and to act accordingly.

 

Habit 4  Think Win/Win 
 A belief in a better way and not yours or mine, but OURS.  

In the long run, no one really wins unless BOTH parties win - the abundant mentality.

Covey's 6 paradigms of human interaction:

  1. win/win

  2. win/lose( I win, you lose)

  3. lose/win (I lose, you win)

  4. lose/lose (no one wins)

  5. win  (all for one)

  6. win/win or no deal  (all or nothing)

Habit 5 - Seek first to understand & then to be understood

  1. Take the time to listen first and understand what is being said.

  2. Rephrase the other's concerns to confirm you understand.

  3. Now the other is relaxed & attentive, with defenses down, so state your point

  4. Then make sure what your reply is understood.

Emphatic listening - listen to understand, not to reply.
Four autobiographical responses - evaluate, probe, advise, and interpret.

Habit 6   Synergize

The whole is greater than the rest of it put together & the most exciting part.  

  1. Synergistic Communication- Opening your heart and mind to new things.

  2. Synergy  in the classroom - teachers and students working together as one.

  3. Synergy   at   work - everyone working as a team

  4. Negative synergy  - using I and not US

  5. Value  the differences between people

Habit 7 - Sharpen the saw

Take time to renew everything we have learned by doing so with the four dimensions of nature:

  1. Physical - exercise, nutrition and stress management

  2. Spiritual  -  value clarification and commitment, study and mediation

  3. Mental - reading, visualizing, planning and writing

  4. Social/emotional - service, empathy, synergy, intrinsic security

Related aside on habit 7 : Quote from Dr. Phil Humbert, Motivational Coach
Take care of your Spirit.  Nourish yourself with beautiful
things, surround yourself with good tools, a clean office
and an orderly schedule. Take pride in your wardrobe, give
yourself a small treat every day, and remember the
"attitude of gratitude."

 

TIME MANAGEMENT QUADRANT

Effective time management begins with self-knowledge and self-management

In which quadrant do you spend most of your time?

 

IMPORTANT/ URGENT

1. PROCRASTINATOR

 

Exam tomorrow
Emission sticker due tomorrow
Car almost out of gas

 

IMPORTANT/NOT URGENT

2. THE PRIORITIZER

 

Sets goals
Essay in a week
Exercise,  relaxation 
"Recreate"  yourself in recreation

 

URGENT/NOT IMPORTANT

3. THE YES-MAN

 

Peer Pressure
I'll help you decorate...

NOT URGENT/NOT IMPORTANT

4. THE SLACKER

 

Watches too much TV & will still be on the couch in 40 years!

 

TEACHING TIPS:

1.  To teach the  Time Management Quadrant:

Divide room in 4 sections (quadrants)
Instructor says, 
"Exercising the day of a test - Go to the appropriate quadrant."
"Listening to music while  studying for a final - half hour before class>"
"Having a drink in class"
"Purchasing a new outfit on Friday for a  college activity on Saturday."

This exercises break up the monotony of sitting behind a desk & students enjoy interacting.

Students should learn that all their time should be divided between quadrants 1 and 2.

 

 

2.  To teach - "Seek first to understand."
Gather  groups of volunteers to play student & teacher.
The most successful volunteer of each group wins candy.

Directions:  Tell the students, I need volunteers to perform a play/skit.  
The student received a B- on an essay & was sure it was an A essay.  

Here are your props: A desk & chair for the teacher to sit in & my cup of coffee.
Also, there is the door for the student to   walk through to approach the teacher 
in his office. 

Audience Role:  To vote on who handled the situation most judiciously
Recorder:  Records audience discussion & votes plus distributes candy

Lesson learned:   Those who "Seek first to understand" usually handle situations better.

 

3  Choosing Proactive/ I'm-in-control type words

REACTIVE/NEGATIVE  LANGUAGE   PROACTIVE/POSITIVE LANGUAGE
I have to vs. I want to 
I'll try vs. I will   
I should vs. I choose to 
There's nothing I can do vs. Let's look at our options
That's the way I am (Late) vs. Sure, I'll come early
You ruined my day! vs. I won't let your bitchiness rub off on me
It's the teacher's fault that I flunked vs. Next time, I'll study for the test
     

Have student add one item to the above chart.
Have students write 3 different sentences in journals  using the above words.
Have students play-act a  reactive and proactive   college scenario.

Next, have students discuss the different impact/meaning, nuances of using proactive 
rather than reactive words.
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How does one get rid of bad habits?
The Ten-Step Program

  1. Realize everybody has some. You may even have some you're not aware of that your friends are aware of.  Are you a coffee slurper? Can everyone hear you  slurping from across the room when you're drinking? 

  2. Make a list of your bad habits. You can ask a friend to help you list these

  3. Select one habit you'd like to wipe out this week

  4. Journal about (or write a bulleted list) of positive changes this would yield.

  5. Make a commitment to yourself

  6. Share the commitment with a friend. (This gives you accountability.)

  7. Visualize Success constantly utilizing positive affirmations i.e. "I always review school notes before bed)

  8. Create an accountability form upon which you can record your successes

  9. Persist,especially when your motivation dwindle

  10. Celebrate your successes  (both-small term and long-term).

 

 

LINKS

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