Why study  7 habits?
to improve & transform our lives

Ten Reviews of Covey's system:

1.

Ken Blanchard, Ph.D. author of The One-Minute manager

"The equivalent of an entire library of success literature is found in this one volume."

2

Bruce Christensen, President Public Broadcasting Service

"The ethical basis for human relations in this book defines a way of life, not just a methodology for succeeding."

3

Rosabeth Kanter  editor of the Harvard Business Review

"Covey provides an empowering philosophy for life that is also the  best guarantee of success."

4.

Richard Eyre, author of  Life Balance   and    Teaching Children Values

"It is solid wisdom and sound principles."

5.

Ariel Bybee, mezzo soprano, Metropolitan Opera

"The principles discussed are universal and can be applied to every aspect of life."

6.

Ron Zemke  co-author of The Service Edge

"Winning is a habit. So is losing.  Seven habits distinguish the happy, healthy, successful from those who fail or who must sacrifice meaning and happiness for success in the narrow sense."

7.

Paul Thompson, author of Novations 

"It does a better job of inspiring a person to integrate the different responsibilities in one's life - personal, family, and professional - than any other book I have read."

8

Roger Staubach, NFL hall of Fame quarterback

"Covey serves up a seven-course meal on how to take control of one's life."

9.

Tom Peters, author of In Search of Excellence

"He offers us an opportunity, not a how-to guide. The opportunity is to explore ourselves and our impact on others"

10.

Skip LeFauve, President, Saturn Corporation/General Motors

"The 7 Habits played a major role in the development of Saturn's operating systems and philosophy. Our commitment to quality and to our customers has its roots in The & Habits."

Habits

What is a habit?  A repeated action.(from the Latin habitus - meaning condition, character)

What is the effect of acquiring a habit? It gives us an ease and facility for doing/being something 

What does one call a good habit?  a virtue

Aside
The four cardinal virtues are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance
The Latins, as represented by Cicero, repeated Plato and Aristotle: "Each man should so conduct himself that fortitude appear in labours and dangers: temperance in foregoing pleasures: prudence in the choice between good and evil: justice in giving every man his own [in suo cuique tribuendo]" (De Fin., V, xxiii, 67; cf. De Offic., I, ii, 5).
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03343a.htm

What does one call a bad habit?        a vice

Note:  Covey defines habit as the overlapping of knowledge, skill and attitude
knowledge  is what do to  (get the most from this course)
skill is  how to do              (budget time, study, do homework)
attitude is   why to do or want to do    (yes, I want to do this) 

Habits of effectiveness  are a balance between P & PC

 P = Production of desired results  (a clean room   or a mowed lawn)

PC =  production capability   (the asset, the person, the resource to clean the room - his habit, motivation & desire unified in a habit -- or your lawnmower - was it maintained?)

Recall the Aesop fable where a poor farmer finds a goose who lays pure gold eggs.  In order to save time & not travel to the goose each day each day, the farmer kills the goose, so he can open it and get all the eggs at once.   The PC is lost  

It balances short term with long term.
It balances going for the grade & paying the price to get an education.
It balances desire to get the room clean & the building of the relationship so the child does it cheerfully willingly without prodding & external supervision.

P & PC -  We must maintain our car for it to run well.  PC takes an effort too. It's not always a given.

Continuum of Maturity

It progresses from dependence to independence  to interdependence.
As we grow & mature we realize all of nature and society is interdependent.
The  7 habits  continue our growth & maturity along a continuum.

Dependent is characterized by YOU
YOU   come through for me. 
You didn't come through.
 I blame you for these results.
I'm (miserable, happy, whatever) because of YOU.

Independency  is characterized by I:  
I will do it.
I will set a schedule.
I will figure it out.
I am self-reliant.
Note: It takes confidence to be self-reliant.

Interdepent is characterized by We

We can do it. 
We will do it.
We'll cooperate.
We'll accomplish this.

Dependent people need others.
Independent people can get what they want through their own efforts.
Interdependent:  Require their own efforts & cooperation of others. Synergy happens! Interdependency is so much more mature.

Personality Ethic vs.  Character Ethic

Covey claims the early success literature of our country was based on character ethic:  basics habits of industry  integrity, modesty, thoughtfulness, love, service.

The last 50 years emphasis has shifted to the personality ethic.
It is heavily imbued by technique, technologies,  how to lubricate the processes of human interaction , influencing people, PMA positive mental attitude, lubricating parts, influencing others without changing & improving  our own habits.

Covey's first 3 habits are character habits

Habits 4,5, & 6 are the personality habits, the outward expression of independent character.  This is genuine, as opposed to deceptive, manipulative techniques & quick fixes for getting what you want now.

Jean Paul Sartre -states, "Love between 2 people in not possible."  We are basically selfish.  Do you agree?

Habit 1 proactivity.

Be proactive.
As a human take responsibility for your own life.
response-ability  = ability  to choose your response

Effective people are proactive.
Their behavior is a product of their own decision.
They are not a product of their conditions.

For example, you plan a picnic & the weather is bad.
Proactive people carry the weather within them & make the best of situation.
They have an indoor picnic, or one under a carport, or porch.

The opposite is reactive. 
What is the use?
We can't do anything. 
The spirit of negativism pervades the mind & body.

 Revelation of Proactivity

A full time nurse is upset that Covey said she was responsible for feeling miserable about a PIN full-time patient.

No longer will she empower his weaknesses to mess her life up. She was let out of prison, out of San Quentin. She want to proclaim her freedom. She realized she could choose her own response to her actions.

Being proactive is to be true to your own human nature - to act rather than to be acted upon.

Determinism

Determinism:  Choices are automatic responses to outside situations  & stimuli.

Determinism:  I am the way I am because of  3 basic factors below.  I am victimized. I am not in control, but am at the effect of everything around me.  I am not responsible.  This becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy -  genetic, psychic & environmental

genetic - I'm like this because of my grandma & ancestors. My nationality has a short fuse

psychic - Freudian - because of what my parents did  to me:  I am an early bird, I am sloppy, I am a compulsive punctual.  You remember emotional scripting; the rejection & comparison that you were late to school

environmental - boss, bratty kid, your spouse, the government & its policies, the economics...that are messing up my life. You are determined by the environment. You are at the effect of the environment.

A pro-active person uses free will to choose responses to environment & that way we're in control.  We are not determined & at the effect of our environment.

Determined people say:
That is my nature.
I have to.
I must.

The whole spirit of the language is the transfer of responsibility. I am not able to choose my response.  I am not responsible.   (Nietzsche's superman)

This is a self-fulfilling  prophesy. They feel and  are victimized & out of control.

Proactive people see  above 3 as influences not as  determination because you freely choose your  actions. You are in control rather than being  in the control of others.  You affect others rather than being at the effect of others.

Viktor Frankl

Austrian Viktor Frankl. wrote Man's Search for Meaning  in death camps of Nazi Germany.

Logotherapy:  if you have a why you can live with any how.
The highest value is how you deal with suffering - pain torture indignity
This is where our greatest influence is.

Frankl discovered "the last ultimate freedom."   They could hurt my body, but not me. Through a series of disciplines, he exercised a small embryonic freedom until he had more freedom than is captors.

External Liberty- many options to choose from
Internal Freedom;  internal power to choose.

Demonstrating our our proactive nature
 in in everyday events -

how you handle a customer, 
a disobedient child, 
a traffic jam, 
a line a bookstore,
our language

This is fundamental to all the other habits

Covey's 4 speakers at a funeral story

one from family - people from all around country
one from friends - what were you as a friend & person
one from work or outside activity
One from church or community activity re. services given.

Covey asks 4 questions:

1.  What would you like to have said 3 years from now?
2.  What would you like to have said about your  character, contribution & achievements?
3. Can you write your own eulogy?
4. Did this exercise help you find your deep fundamental  values & your definition of success?

Review: habit # 2

Begin with the end in mind.
This means you start with a clear understanding of your destination.

Begin today with a picture of the end of your life...
as the criteria by which we examine everything in our life - short term projects & long-term.

Decide what your own value system is by writing your own mission statement,  your own creed, your own philosophy your own creed - written  in mind and heart - through mind & emotion & imagination.

Tie yourself to your potential, not to your history.

Draw on the inner sense of conscience - of what is right or wrong -  you will detect the most fundamental principles that pertain to your life & you can distill them in a mission statement, a value statement, a purpose statement.

This is the essence of habit 2.

Two Creations

Habit 2 is based on the principle that all things are created twice:

the physical creation -
which follows the mental creation

Is it true that our college school was first created in every detail before construction?
right or wrong?
If wrong, you have many costs & change orders in the structure

Leadership Habit and Management Habit

Habit 2 is the leadership habit.
Habit 3 is the management habit.

What is leadership?
It deals with direction.

What is management?
Management deals with speed ,coordination & logistics (in going to that direction).

Climb the ladder  of success & got to top rung & realized it was on the wrong wall.

Covey's Jungle story explaining leadership & management

Imagine this scene:

Workers:

1. Workers are going through the jungle with a machete
2. Undergrowth is being cut - fast & furious
3.  They are the best producers & workers

Meanwhile Managers

1. Managers are sharpening  machetes
2. Managers schedule  muscle development classes for machete wielders
3. Managers settle jurisdictional dispute for these producers
4. managers set up working schedules.

Meanwhile, the leader

1.The leader climbs up the highest tree,
2.  looks around ,
3. surveys the entire scene, 
4.reviews the entire picture
5.& yells

wrong jungle

management shouts back:
Shut up,  we're making progress.

We manage things
We lead people

Management is important.
After we decide what is the right thing, we must focus on efficiency on bottom line

Habit 2 focuses on leadership on top line.

Key to habit # 2
Is developing writing a mission statement:
A statement of what you want from your life & the values & principles upon which you base your life.
Your mission is your role & goal

Habit 3:  Put first things first

Time management questions

The real challenge is not to manage time, but to manage yourself.
Gain control of time & events in your life by seeing how they relate to your  mission.

Importance & Urgency

These two dimensions create  categories of time demand

Important: Means it attaches to habit 2 - your mission , your role & goal

Urgent:  That which is pressing upon you. You must act upon it. A ringing phone (may or may not be a total waste of time  & can sidetrack  you & lead you to management of wrong things, even if in the right way)

Putting first things first helps you focus your priorities & pay attention to how we spend our time as we act on our priorities day in and day out - moment to moment.

Time Management Matrix 

Covey's question to us:

Can you think of one activity in your life, that if you did superbly  well & consistently,  that you absolutely are convinced would produce marvelous results - think of one in your personal life & one in your public life.

What quadrant is the thing you wrote in?
Qudrant 2
It  is key to management
It's important
It's not urgent or you'd be doing it.

All habits we are studying are in Quadrant 2

What happens to Quadrant 1 if you neglect 2?
If you neglect prevention, what happens to quadrant 2?
It will grow & grow until there are almost no other quadrants
It will consume your life
It becomes management by Crisis.
It beats you up & burns you out - fatigues you.

What happens to Quadrant 1 (urgent & important) if you attend to Quadrant 2 (important& not urgent)?
It gets smaller and smaller
If you live by 2  then1 will diminish.
You'll have the sense that you are working on prevention & seizing new opportunities.

From where do you get the time for Quadrant 2 (Important & not urgent)?
It has to come from 3 (urgent & not important) & 4 (not urgent & not important)

Can you name me something of value or worth in quadrant 4?

Quadrant 4 is totally worthless.
Is leisure important?
Then what quadrant does it fit in?
It is quadrant 2 (important, not urgent)

Quadrant 2: all deep relationship building planning & organizing, personal preparation, exercising, broad deep reading, continual education.
quadrant 2 is the key.

Learning how to exercise Quadrant 2, putting first things first is part of habit 3.
It is reorganizing your life according to goals of your mission statement & having the discipline to live your life accordingly.

Review of 3 Habits

Habit # 1:  habit of personal vision - being pro-active

Habit # 2:  personal leadership - begins with the end in mind   - prime time

Habit # 3: habit of personal management - putting first things first  -prime time

Effect of 3 habits:  self-mastery & self discipline to become independent.

Covey asks, what happens to people who cultivate these 3 habits?

1. It produces an internal source of personal security 

2. A sense that I am in charge of my own life

3. A sense of  self-reliance&  independence. We don't get our sense of worth by being compared to other people

Covey asks, "Why shouldn't we  get our sense of worth from being compared to other people?"

Most people derive their sense of value & worth by comparisons

academic world normal distribution curve
social world - brand name cars, clothing, home
athletic world - we are # l or not

Most people's experience say their worth is based from other people's opinions,  from outside measure, from an extrinsic source.

Do you agree with Covey on the following?

If love is given unconditionally to kids, they get an inner  sense of worth for life.
If it is given  very conditionally, they begin to define themselves in relation to other people with whom they have been compared. 

The conditionally loved child must write new scripts. The child is father to the man. These scripts  will give them a new childhood   or these scripts will direct, guide & haunt them for the rest of their lives. People have been deeply scripted for sense of worth.

Taking the different path is building your security on your integrity to your value system.

Robert Frost is right:
The road less traveled - path. two paths diverged &  I took the one less traveled & that made al the difference.

Abundance Mentality vs. Scarcity Mentality

Abundance mentality: There's plenty to go around   & you have a deep base of security & character.
Immediate fruit:: you don't compare yourself with others. yields win/win solutions.

Scarcity mentality - Only one person can be # 1. They immediately compare themselves with others. Where do I rank in relation to them.
These people have a hard time being happy for the success of others - even those in their own family. They eat their inner heart out, hoping for misfortune on others.

Habit 4   win/win,
Habit  5  communicate - Seek first to understand
Habit  6  synergy

Habit 4: Think win/ win - seek solutions so everyone can win & you build  rich, productive, enduring relationships.

You must not only be  be nice but gracious courageous; not only   empathic but confident ;  not only considerate & sensitive but brave. It is tougher & more rigorous  than win/lose.

Habit 4 asks, "Why don't we agree to communicate until we find a solution we both feel good about. ?"

Because most would agree, this leads us to habit 5.

Habit 5 says," Let me listen to you first." Seek first to understand & then to be understood. You  communicate first by listening  & then by expressing.  This is emphatic listening. It is the attitude of seeking solutions so everyone can win.

Most people do the  very opposite; they want to first be understood this is a reflection of our human nature Once one is heard, one can relax..

It takes skill but emotional strength too to listen & this comes from first 3.

Collective monologue: when both parties want to be understood  simultaneously. The dialogue of the deaf. They are either speaking or preparing their speech.

Habit 6  creative cooperation - synergy: Two sides work together to come up with a solution better than any person could have originally  dreamed of or proposed initially on his own.  You're creative & think through new & better solutions based on the integrity to your own changeless value system. Synergy takes both sides into consideration.

4 5 6 lead to interdependent relationships to synergy 

- as explained in window story.

Window Story

I want window closed
You want window opened
Why open:  I'm too hot
Why closed: papers & blowing & breeze 
Synergy - keep window in opposite room open 

Can you see the difference between synergy & compromise?

This is NOT a COMPROMISE. It is a win win.  We are both happy for us plus happy for the other.  i really care about you, so I am happier. Synergy shows that I really care about you & the human is as imp or more imp than physical environment.  Listen & communicate with respect.  & you gain insights & can then use your creative capacity to produce a solution better than anyone could do alone.

synergy - crowning achievement of all of habits

 1 + 1 = 1 1/2
synergy 1 + 1 = 4, 5 6....

(If you re in an overdrawn emotional bank account, you might call this a compromise. You can only harvest a crop is you have planted it and cared for it.)

Habit # 7 self-renewal

Self-maintenance habit:  Do it right, completely & regularly.

Sharpening the Saw Story

What re you doing?
How long have you been sawing?
I'm tired
Why don't you sharpen the saw?
I'm too busy sawing, dumb dumb.

Take time to sharpen the saw regularly.
Preserves & enhances the greatest asset you have

4 dimensions of our nature:

physical
mental
spiritual
social/emotional self

 covey contends we should exercise all 4 dimensions &
organize our  life so we  have time in quadrant 2 to maintain the six habits

It involves
physical exercise. (stretching, aerobics, stretching  & muscle toning)

aerobics deals with cardiovascular - enlarges the body's capacity to produce heart is stronger - more vitality more energy oxygen. Oxygen is key to energy.  Stretching should follow aerobics.

A little stretching then a walk & then stretching at end & then calisthenics.

a week has 168 hours

Mental habit:  Staying with it - determination.   don't let Prime Time (TV) take over your Prime Time.   Job even if it rains to strengthen your discipline.

Spiritual exercise: Do it in a way that goes with your own philosophy - some people read imp literature, some pray, some think about key fundamental issues - spiritual activities provide leadership - then the mental planning and doing  & staying with it is habit 3

Officer on bridge said captain - there is a light & they won't move
Say "starboard signal"
"Starboard yourself" - the signal came back
Send another signal: "This is the mighty Missouri, Starboard"
The following signal came back: "This is the lighthouse."

Correct principles are lighthouses, they do not move.

We can't break them.

Learn accommodate & use them & these enlarge & emancipate us & empowers us.

T.S. Eliot said, "We shall never cease from striving & the end of all our striving will be to arrive where we began & to know the place for the first time."

All we covered we already know - but maybe not as habits.
Common sense is not common practice.

Closing Quote:

Emerson; "that which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to d has increased."

Learn, relearn, listen over & over until it is the software of our heads.

There is NO quick fix. You can't harvest crop that was not planted in spring.

SUMMARY

Vocabulary